I wake with my daughter at arms length. I lovingly watch her sleep and I am mesmerized by her face, attentively I watch as she slowly opens her eyes. She moves slightly and the struggle with soreness is present. There are still signs of glass in her hair but we rejoice that she escaped with no broken bones or internal injuries. I inspect her a little closer as I have been told that the bruising and cuts will be more apparent this morning. I see nothing, there are no visible marks of injury on her body. It is as if this wreck was merely a dream. I am certain prayer has occurred on our behalf. My children are anxious because they are not near but prayer has seemed to sooth them.
This will not be an easy day, as today we are scheduled to see the car and visit the crash site. The broken car is somewhere near, neatly stored because of this day of snow. My mind goes elsewhere and I focus on the fact that it is Easter weekend. Today is Good Friday and I am reminded of my Savior. I bow my head and pause long enough to allow tears to slowly roll down my face. Selfishly I bless God for my child's life. I begin to be thankful that I am not planning to bury my child today but rather making plans to merely bury her car. I think of all the families that have had experiences similar to this but have not had the outcome we have been awarded. Its not fair that I have my daughter and so many others have had to bury theirs. I don't understand it and I don't know that I ever will, at least not on this side of glory. Regardless I am grateful. We are grateful.
Last night when we arrived, Christian began to explain what she experienced. Her most vivid memory was the soil she saw all over her car. She said "I was growing a sunflower. I hope you can find the seed, when you look for my stuff." I smiled at this impossible request.
On the way to deal with the car we dial the sheriffs department in hopes of receiving direction on how and where we must begin this journey. First we travel to where the car is being held. We drive by the business that holds the car and Jacob spots it in the drive. I too see the car and I am paralyzed with fear, unable to move. In the very center of my being I can sweetly feel the prayers that are being sent on our behalf. Once more my head bows and I am no longer able to silently cry. I cry out with thanksgiving in my heart. I sit unable to process and the scene plays over and over in my head. My phone buzzes and again prayer is being offered. I am grateful so grateful as I have seen with my own eyes what the power of prayer can do. Finally I feel peace and muster enough courage to help Jacob empty the car. I glance in the car and I see her pillow, her blanket, her clothes, her keys all in the midst of the shattered glass. I am beside myself and again unable to put a single thought in place. I reach in the car to grab her purse and I am pricked by a shard of glass. Jacob stops and careful of this mommies heart speaks sweetly, "baby let me do this". I step back, look inside one last time and there in the center of all the mess I see the sunflower seed.
Connecting with Community
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Friday, March 25, 2016
Thursday -I climb out.
The phone rings and on the other end I hear Jacobs' voice. He begins"I heard sirens and wanted to make sure you were ok". My heart smiles and I am thankful. Today is Thursday and Good Friday is tomorrow but no worries becasuse Sunday is on its way. It is my favorite time of the year. We are closed on Friday in observation of Good Friday, so that means I have two days of work to finish up by noon.
Finally at the office and before I prepare for my day, I pick up the phone and dial Keila. She answers "Whats up mom". I explain that dad heard sirens so I was calling to make sure she was safe. Meanwhile, 12 hours away, Christian is on the road headed home for Resurrection Sunday.
It isn't long before my day is in full swing. I have a meeting at 10:00AM so I look at my phone to check the time. My phone is always off during my time at work so imagine my surprise to see my Christians name on the screen. I answer the phone and say "hey baby where are you?". She replies with "mom I crawled out of the car". I can't process that comment so I ask again "baby where are you?" and again "mom I crawled out of the car". I instantly go into rescue mode which doesn't allow me the emotions I would have if I was operating in mommy mode. I know if I want the best outcome possible I have to accurately assess the situation. I have to get her help. At this point I don't know where she is, I don't know how badly she is hurt and with so much distance between us I know I have to get people to her. Again I hear sobbing and again I ask "where are you baby?". She replies "mom I don't know". I ask "baby what happened". She responds "my car rolled, I'm sorry mom". I respond "baby don't worry its ok, everything is going to be ok". Baby are you in a field? Do you see people or other cars? No response. Then I realize she is in shock so I give orders. Baby I don't know where you are so I need you to hang up with me and dial 911. I need you to get help now. I am on my way baby, I am on my way. I signal for help and ask a colleague to call Jacob, while I am still on the phone with Chris. I know that as soon as she dials 911 I will no longer have contact with her. I am calm and begin to ask Chris, "What do you see around you?" What was the last town you passed. She replies Madison. I said ok baby we are on our way. I hang up and then my body begins to shake. I walk to my office and emotions hit. I am afraid for my girl.
Jacob walks in and he holds me but only for a moment because we both know we have to get on the road. We throw stuff in a suitcase and head to Nebraska. It will be the longest day of our life. It would be 10 hours before we reach our girl. The praying began the moment I shed my first tear.
Christian said she remembers hitting a patch of ice and she remembers a semi truck. She said there was nothing I could do. I remember being in the air. I closed my eyes and crossed my arms in front of my chest. I felt glass and I felt the car crushing around me. When I finally landed, I slowly open my eyes and I realize I am hanging, being held by my seat belt. I see liquid and I know I have to get out of the car. I grab my hat and I think of my plant because I see soil mixed with glass. I was growing a sunflower she says. My luggage and backpack are in the front of the car. My safety kit is outside of the car and I don't understand how. I notice a small crevasse and I decide to try and squeeze myself through this space. I climb out.
Finally at the office and before I prepare for my day, I pick up the phone and dial Keila. She answers "Whats up mom". I explain that dad heard sirens so I was calling to make sure she was safe. Meanwhile, 12 hours away, Christian is on the road headed home for Resurrection Sunday.
It isn't long before my day is in full swing. I have a meeting at 10:00AM so I look at my phone to check the time. My phone is always off during my time at work so imagine my surprise to see my Christians name on the screen. I answer the phone and say "hey baby where are you?". She replies with "mom I crawled out of the car". I can't process that comment so I ask again "baby where are you?" and again "mom I crawled out of the car". I instantly go into rescue mode which doesn't allow me the emotions I would have if I was operating in mommy mode. I know if I want the best outcome possible I have to accurately assess the situation. I have to get her help. At this point I don't know where she is, I don't know how badly she is hurt and with so much distance between us I know I have to get people to her. Again I hear sobbing and again I ask "where are you baby?". She replies "mom I don't know". I ask "baby what happened". She responds "my car rolled, I'm sorry mom". I respond "baby don't worry its ok, everything is going to be ok". Baby are you in a field? Do you see people or other cars? No response. Then I realize she is in shock so I give orders. Baby I don't know where you are so I need you to hang up with me and dial 911. I need you to get help now. I am on my way baby, I am on my way. I signal for help and ask a colleague to call Jacob, while I am still on the phone with Chris. I know that as soon as she dials 911 I will no longer have contact with her. I am calm and begin to ask Chris, "What do you see around you?" What was the last town you passed. She replies Madison. I said ok baby we are on our way. I hang up and then my body begins to shake. I walk to my office and emotions hit. I am afraid for my girl.
Jacob walks in and he holds me but only for a moment because we both know we have to get on the road. We throw stuff in a suitcase and head to Nebraska. It will be the longest day of our life. It would be 10 hours before we reach our girl. The praying began the moment I shed my first tear.
Christian said she remembers hitting a patch of ice and she remembers a semi truck. She said there was nothing I could do. I remember being in the air. I closed my eyes and crossed my arms in front of my chest. I felt glass and I felt the car crushing around me. When I finally landed, I slowly open my eyes and I realize I am hanging, being held by my seat belt. I see liquid and I know I have to get out of the car. I grab my hat and I think of my plant because I see soil mixed with glass. I was growing a sunflower she says. My luggage and backpack are in the front of the car. My safety kit is outside of the car and I don't understand how. I notice a small crevasse and I decide to try and squeeze myself through this space. I climb out.
Friday, March 11, 2016
love at first sight
I wake only to visit the bathroom, quickly I head back to my the comfort of my bed. I snuggle in hopes of nothing, yes nothing, no expectations from me today. The curtains protect me from the rays of the sun. I will not have a productive day. I will doodle, read, sleep, watch TV, sleep, lay in bed, watch TV and well you get the picture. I am scheduled to be far from the comfort of my home today and as luck would have it I get to stay home this morning. This doesn't happen often, come to think of it I cant remember a time when something like this happened. Regardless I will soak in the opportunity. So stay with me as my day unfolds. It takes everything I have not to get up and wash the dishes, I left in the basin last night. Then I am reminded of the clothes piled in the laundry hamper. I think I even noticed a load in the dryer and they are probably ready to be folded. Maybe there is also clothes on the washer that need to be put away. Ok so it only took me a few minutes to get this day on course. As I climb out of bed to get my day going, Jacob leaves to take Josh to school and at the same time our new child leaves to get her morning run.
Lets me take you back a few days and then this new kid of mine might make more sense. I received a surprise on Friday evening. My runner drove in from South Dakota. She came home for spring break and she brought a couple of young ladies with her. Her goal was to expose these classmates of hers to this great state of Texas. A'las our family on a mission to show these young girls that everything is bigger and better in Texas. We have had the pleasure of sharing our home with these young girls for the past 6 days. Chris has taken them to the Canyon, shopping at local shops and they have been blessed to dine at many local eatery's. Their first day here they even had the honor of eating at the finest place in Texas, yes you guessed it, Whataburger!
I've had he opportunity to spend a handful of hours each day with these young girls. Apparently it was love at first sight. This morning one of my new children went on her morning run and two hours later she had not returned. I didn't take much longer before I was in a panic. I began to pace as this lovely was no where in sight. I would send out the troops in search of my girl. Jacob soon joined me in my panic. He heads home to join the search party. I wait on the porch praying that God would protector. Finally the call comes in that she has been found. I begin to weep in relief that my baby is safe. Shortly she walks in and I embrace her and love her as one of my own. I share only to show that it is possible to love all we encounter. C'mon won't you love someone today our world so desperately needs love.
Lets me take you back a few days and then this new kid of mine might make more sense. I received a surprise on Friday evening. My runner drove in from South Dakota. She came home for spring break and she brought a couple of young ladies with her. Her goal was to expose these classmates of hers to this great state of Texas. A'las our family on a mission to show these young girls that everything is bigger and better in Texas. We have had the pleasure of sharing our home with these young girls for the past 6 days. Chris has taken them to the Canyon, shopping at local shops and they have been blessed to dine at many local eatery's. Their first day here they even had the honor of eating at the finest place in Texas, yes you guessed it, Whataburger!
I've had he opportunity to spend a handful of hours each day with these young girls. Apparently it was love at first sight. This morning one of my new children went on her morning run and two hours later she had not returned. I didn't take much longer before I was in a panic. I began to pace as this lovely was no where in sight. I would send out the troops in search of my girl. Jacob soon joined me in my panic. He heads home to join the search party. I wait on the porch praying that God would protector. Finally the call comes in that she has been found. I begin to weep in relief that my baby is safe. Shortly she walks in and I embrace her and love her as one of my own. I share only to show that it is possible to love all we encounter. C'mon won't you love someone today our world so desperately needs love.
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