Nickels, Dimes and Jesus

I lead a book club titled the Learners. Our second book is titled Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in American by Barbara Ehrenreich. Ms. Ehrenreich is a highly educated middle class journalist. She decides to go undercover to investigate exactly how the working class poor make it on minimum wage. It sounds much like an extra long episode of Undercover Boss. I am thrilled at the opportunity to learn.

 

This author talks in detail about the plans and hardships on finding economical and suitable housing and then without pause begins the uphill battle of seeking employment near this prized “economical” housing she has discovered. I must say I am touched by her desire to dive right in regardless of the mud and mess she encounters. All in an effort of dispelling the myths, misconceptions and stereo types of the working class poor.

She has me and I am intently hanging on to her every word. Pause. Rewind. Stop. I do not know what happened everything was going so well. Somehow, I have just been sucker punched and my desire to learn more about nickels and dimes is no longer present. The rug has just been pulled out from underneath me and for no reason at all. I do not understand why this paragraph, which does not really fit into this storyline, is here.  Somewhere in this book about poverty, she speaks of one day after work looking for something to do that would not cost money. She happens to notice a church service, taking place across the way so she decides to attend. After this excerpt in the book, all I hear is anger, criticism and judgement. She begins judging another type of human. Which I am baffled by. You cannot or rather you should not honor one human and in the same breath dishonor another merely by how he or she believes.

My heart hurts as she slyly begins to take a dig at Christianity. I continue reading even though I am jabbed from time to time. I think the perception here may be if you have met one Christian, you have met them all. The misconception is if one Christian behaves badly they all behave badly. These misconceptions of Christians are similar to those of people living in poverty. This is as absurd as saying because you have known one person in poverty taking advantage of the system they are all taking advantage of the system. Just not, so on both accounts.

If you know me you probably know I love Jesus. I am a Christian and the very thing that enables me to love my neighbor is the God I serve. I work hard to dispel myths, misconceptions and stereo types about people living in poverty.  Actually, I consider it my life’s work (Isaiah 61) and I do this because I am a Christian. These hostile characterizations and judgmental bigotries people have placed on me because I am a Christian are just not so. Yes, some people misrepresent Christianity but not all people do.

Yes, some Christians sit on the sidelines while some of us are working hard out on the field, others are coaching and calling plays and yet others sit injured in the locker room (sometimes injury caused by their fellow Christians). Some have just been recruited while others are beginning their first day of basic training. What is often excluded is the truth about how so many of these Christians are out there making touchdown after touchdown. Yet more often than not, we are all judged as if we were all that one foul mouthed player waiting to be sentenced for all his unspeakable crimes. The Jesus I serve is perfect not the people that serve him. I do not say this to give a pass to unsavory behavior displayed at times by us Christians in “training”. I say this because no one is perfect Christian or not.

My takeaway from this book has nothing to do with poverty but rather it has affirmed that we as people will judge those we do not understand. I am a Christian and in love I say to those who judge me for being a Christian, your judgments, stereotypes and misconceptions are just not so of me. If you would take the time to get to know me, you would learn that I am not a person that hates this party or that party even though some that call themselves Christians do. If you would take the time to get to know me, you would learn that I am not for children being separated from their mothers even though some of the people in the political party I am affiliated with may be. If you would take the time to get to know me, you would learn that I do not hate nor judge people that believe different than I do even though some that call themselves Christians do. If you would take the time to get to know me, you would learn that I do not hate because the color of your skin maybe different from mine even though some that call themselves Christians do.

I no longer want to learn about nickels or dimes.

 

I want to teach,

how to love,

with Love,

all people.

 

Compassion Fatigue class options

Friday-The car and the lost sunflower seed

I wake with my daughter at arms length.  I lovingly watch her sleep and I am mesmerized by her face, attentively I watch as she slowly opens her eyes. She moves slightly and the struggle with soreness is present. There are still signs of glass in her hair but we rejoice that she escaped with no broken bones or internal injuries. I inspect her a little closer as I have been told that the bruising and cuts will be more apparent this morning. I see nothing, there are no visible marks of injury on her body. It is as if this wreck was merely a dream. I am certain prayer has occurred on our behalf. My children are anxious because they are not near but prayer has seemed to sooth them.

This will not be an easy day, as today we are scheduled to see the car and visit the crash site. The broken car is somewhere near, neatly stored because of this day of snow. My mind goes elsewhere and I focus on the fact that it is Easter weekend. Today is Good Friday and I am reminded of my Savior. I bow my head and pause long enough to allow tears to slowly roll down my face. Selfishly I bless God for my child's life. I begin to be thankful that I am not planning to bury my child today but rather making plans to merely bury her car. I think of all the families that have had experiences similar to this but have not had the outcome we have been awarded. Its not fair that I have my daughter and so many others have had to bury theirs. I don't understand it and I don't know that I ever will, at least not on this side of glory. Regardless I am grateful. We are grateful.

Last night when we arrived, Christian began to explain what she experienced. Her most vivid memory was the soil she saw all over her car. She said "I was growing a sunflower. I hope you can find the seed, when you look for my stuff." I smiled at this impossible request.

On the way to deal with the car we dial the sheriffs department in hopes of receiving direction on how and where we must begin this journey. First we travel to where the car is being held. We drive by the business that holds the car and Jacob spots it in the drive. I too see the car and I am paralyzed with fear, unable to move. In the very center of my being I can sweetly feel the prayers that are being sent on our behalf. Once more my head bows and I am no longer able to silently cry. I cry out with thanksgiving in my heart. I sit unable to process and the scene plays over and over in my head. My phone buzzes and again prayer is being offered. I am grateful so grateful as I have seen with my own eyes what the power of prayer can do. Finally I feel peace and muster enough courage to help Jacob empty the car. I glance in the car and I see her pillow,  her blanket, her clothes, her keys all in the midst of the shattered glass. I am beside myself and again unable to put a single thought in place. I reach in the car  to grab her purse and I am pricked by a shard of glass. Jacob stops and careful of this mommies heart speaks sweetly, "baby let me do this". I step back, look inside one last time and there in the center of all the mess I see the sunflower seed.

Thursday -I climb out.

The phone rings and on the other end I hear Jacobs' voice. He begins"I heard sirens and wanted to make sure you were ok". My heart smiles and I am thankful. Today is Thursday and Good Friday is tomorrow but no worries becasuse Sunday is on its way. It is my favorite time of the year. We are closed on Friday in observation of Good Friday, so that means I have two days of work to finish up by noon.

Finally at the office and before I prepare for my day, I pick up the phone and dial Keila. She answers "Whats up mom".  I explain that dad heard sirens so I was calling to make sure she was safe. Meanwhile, 12 hours away, Christian is on the road headed home for Resurrection Sunday.

It isn't long before my day is in full swing. I have a meeting at 10:00AM so I look at my phone to check the time. My phone is always off during my time at work so imagine my surprise to see my Christians name on the screen. I answer the phone and say "hey baby where are you?".  She replies with "mom I crawled out of the car". I can't process that comment so I ask again "baby where are you?" and again "mom I crawled out of the car". I instantly go into rescue mode which doesn't allow me the emotions I would have if I was operating in mommy mode. I know if I want the best outcome possible I have to accurately assess the situation. I have to get her help. At this point I don't know where she is, I don't know how badly she is hurt and with so much distance between us I know I have to get people to her. Again I hear sobbing and again I ask "where are you baby?". She replies "mom I don't know". I ask "baby what happened". She responds "my car rolled, I'm sorry mom". I respond "baby don't worry its ok, everything is going to be ok". Baby are you in a field? Do you see people or other cars? No response. Then I realize she is in shock so I give orders. Baby I don't know where you are so I need you to hang up with me and dial 911. I need you to get help now. I am on my way baby, I am on my way. I signal for help and ask a colleague to call Jacob, while I am still on the phone with Chris. I know that as soon as she dials 911 I will no longer have contact with her. I am calm and begin to ask Chris, "What do you see around you?" What was the last town you passed. She replies Madison. I said ok baby we are on our way. I hang up and then my body begins to shake. I walk to my office and emotions hit. I am afraid for my girl.

Jacob walks in and he holds me but only for a moment because we both know we have to get on the road. We throw stuff in a suitcase and head to Nebraska. It will be the longest day of our life. It would be 10 hours before we reach our girl. The praying began the moment I shed my first tear.

Christian said she remembers hitting a patch of ice and she remembers a semi truck. She said there was nothing I could do. I remember being in the air. I closed my eyes and crossed my arms in front of my chest. I felt glass and I felt the car crushing around me. When I finally landed, I slowly open my eyes and I realize I am hanging, being held by my seat belt. I see liquid and I know I have to get out of the car. I grab my hat and I think of my plant because I see soil mixed with glass. I was growing a sunflower she says. My luggage and backpack are in the front of the car. My safety kit is outside of the car and I don't understand how. I notice a small crevasse and I decide to try and squeeze myself through this space. I climb out.

love at first sight

I wake only to visit the bathroom, quickly  I head back to my the comfort of my bed. I snuggle in hopes of nothing, yes nothing, no expectations from me today. The curtains protect me from the rays of the sun. I will not have a productive day. I will doodle, read, sleep, watch TV, sleep, lay in bed, watch TV and well you get the picture. I am scheduled to be far from the comfort of my home today and as luck would have it I get to stay home this morning. This doesn't happen often, come to think of it I cant remember a time when something like this happened. Regardless I will soak in the opportunity. So stay with me as my day unfolds. It takes everything I have not to get up and wash the dishes, I left in the basin last night. Then I am reminded of the clothes piled in the laundry hamper. I think I even noticed a load in the dryer and they are probably ready to be folded. Maybe there is also clothes on the washer that need to be put away. Ok so it only took me a few minutes to get this day on course. As I climb out of bed to get my day going, Jacob leaves to take Josh to school and at the same time our new child leaves to get her morning run.

Lets me take you back a few days and then this new kid of mine might make more sense. I received a surprise on Friday evening. My runner drove in from South Dakota. She came home for spring break and she brought a couple of young ladies with her. Her goal was to expose these classmates of hers to this great state of Texas. A'las our family on a mission to show these young girls that everything is bigger and better in Texas. We have had the pleasure of sharing our home with these young girls for the past 6 days. Chris has taken them to the Canyon, shopping at local shops and they have been blessed to dine at many local eatery's. Their first day here they even had the honor of eating at the finest place in Texas, yes you guessed it, Whataburger!

I've had he opportunity to spend a handful of hours each day with these young girls. Apparently it was love at first sight. This morning one of my new children went on her morning run and two hours later she had not returned. I didn't take much longer before I was in a panic. I began to pace as this lovely was no where in sight. I would send out the troops in search of my girl. Jacob soon joined me in my panic.  He heads home to join the search party. I wait on the porch praying that God would protector. Finally the call comes in that she has been found. I begin to weep in relief that my baby is safe. Shortly she walks in and I embrace her and love her as one of my own. I share only to show that it is possible to love all we encounter. C'mon won't you love someone today our world so desperately needs love.

Give Anyway

So my phone was on pause for a few days and well I kind of feel like I’ve been on pause for a while myself. November and December are months that are typically quite peaceful in my world. This may not be a good thing because it allows me too much time to dream. What do I dream of you ask? Well I’ll tell you, I dream of love, kindness and peace. I continually look at what more I can do and how I can better serve. How can I love without words?

I continually want to leave people in a better place than I find them. Nope I don’t always accomplish that but I sure do try. I get so caught up in all my busyness and it always seems to causes me to be on the go. It keeps my mind racing and I am constantly thinking of what I could do next. Busyness often consumes me so it is quite a task for me to pause and be present when I am face to face with another human. But I assure you being present is my goal.

Today a gentleman walked in and his shame consumed him as he asked for food. Today I met a woman with 5 children that will be homeless on Thursday. Today I spoke with a woman that will not have electricity tomorrow and she will not be able to give her child breathing treatments. Today a woman came in seeking help with her water bill and there was no help to be found. She will not have running water tomorrow. My heart hurts that I cannot always help but I am comforted in the fact that I can always love and it cost me nothing.

I was invited to a Christmas Party and all week I’ve looked forward to the end of the week so I could attend. Finally the day of the party arrives and I get caught up in the busyness of the office. And after all is said and done there will be no time for me to attend this party. Instead I head to deliver some goods. It is late and I worry because I don’t like the surroundings I find myself in. I slowly make my way around this unkept building and finally I spot the numbers I am looking for. Cautiously I park, a little unsure of things and yet I get out of my car anyway. I head towards the door and gently knock. A woman answers and instantly her eyes well up with tears. I explain I brought her some items and she softly speaks, “I am not worth this”. My heart crumbles inside at the thought of another being not seeing worth in themselves. I wonder if the busyness around her has caused people like me not to see her and treat her as significant. How often do we have opportunity to give and yet we choose not to?

I know, sometimes, even if it’s just for a moment we get to a place where we get tired of serving. Sometimes we even tire of giving. So let’s get a little crazy and change the way we serve, let’s change the way we give. Let’s give a little simpler maybe not so extravagant. Close your pocket book and open your heart. What if we paused our materialistic giving and gave dignity instead? What if we gave a little honor to those that have served this beautiful country we live in? What if we extended peace to those that are often forgotten? What if we loved those that don’t know how to love us back? What if we gave a single mother respect instead of judgment?

I know, you are right, it’s easier to give money than it is to give of your heart. Give anyway.

Shall we dance?

I do not think anyone should have to get out of bed when there is snow on the ground. That is why I woke up 45 minutes late. So I am dancing through the house trying to find the shower and my little runner beats me to it. Not fun! So I had to do what I haven’t done in months… Use the boy’s bathroom. Ok so it’s a little tidier than ours but still.

We are all in panic mode trying to get out of the house and the silly thing is no one can leave the house without a shower, not even the four year old. No, washing our face and brushing our teeth is not enough. We all require a shower, even if we had one the night before. Maybe not a bad habit?! Finally we make it out the door and that’s when the mishaps begin. Tristan tangles with an ice patch and the ice patch is victorious.

Yes, and meanwhile in the car my windshield is covered with ice. Not fun! I sit in the car talking to it as if that were going to hurry the ice along. Finally we drive to town and I drop off Josh, maybe a tad bit late. Now we fly on over to Tristan’s school and today I won’t even try and sneak him in. I will park right up front, march in like a champ and confess that I am late. He seems happy to be taking this adventure of a new door way. I however am not. I stand in line for his slip of shame and walk down the hall in hopes to still catch a breakfast plate. In the door way stand two Life Changers helping a child that seems to be having a meltdown. While another teacher sits on the floor with this child. Makes my heart warm.

We walk into the cafeteria and the cafeteria lady says, “there he is Tristan is here.” They happily fix him a place while his teacher goes to the lunch line and assists him in deciding on white or chocolate milk. While he, happily dances while he waits for his goods. Yes he dances at 4 he doesn’t understand that grandma has failed and brought him late to school. He dances, yes he dances that they celebrate his arrival. What if we all celebrated people regardless of their failures?

I depart with a mission. I think of my son, JD and he loves him some breakfast burritos. So much in fact that he believes he keeps this breakfast joint in business. Well I don’t want it to shut down because he is out for 8 months so I go and buy a burrito to pay tribute to my son. Okay I am not a fan of the taste really or the price to be honest. But I do it anyway. It allows me to dance even if he is not with me.  As I arrive and peer through the window.  I notice the lady preparing my food has a slight dance in her step as she works. Hmmm.

Now I am really late and I don’t have time to stop for my tea. Or do I? I head in that direction and low and behold I look to my right and there is a woman dancing at a bus stop. Yes she is dancing. It is probably about 15 degrees and I have a choice to make. I can look away and go get my tea or I can stop and ask if she trust me for a ride. I turn in and pull up to her. She looks at me a little crooked and maybe a little embarrassed as she has been caught dancing. She tells me she’s dancing to keep warm. No need to explain, as at this point in my day I get why we should all dance.

She is in need of a ride to the AISD administration building. She just got a job at one of the schools and she is needing to get some paper work turned in. She is happy to have a second job now. She is also happy to announce that she has been married for two years and just as proud to announce that they have two dogs. I hear her dancing as she speaks.

Half the population in our country is receiving government assistance. Just a thought but what if the other half behaved as humans and helped one person. Yes just one. Wow maybe we would eradicate poverty in our lifetime. Ok so no a ride maybe won’t eradicate poverty but adding value to someone in a way that removes shame will allow hope to creep in. And maybe just maybe that will eradicate poverty. Because you know when Hope is present nothing is impossible. Go out there and love. Go out there and dance. If you don’t have a reason to dance, do something for someone else. It may just allow you and them the opportunity to dance.   Live people live.

Filled

It is early and I feel the sun warming me through a small opening in the drapes. I dig myself deeper into my bedding, in hopes that the morning will not come so soon. I grasp for the stillness of this moment because I am sure the sky will once again give way to the sun and it’s over powering strength. It won’t be long before the world around me wakes and this moment will quickly be gone. The sun high above exposes the sky and it reaches towards me allowing me a ray of guilt for all those that don’t wake to the comfort of a home.

Just last night I slept outside, on the ground, covered in the night’s debris. This morning I lay here in comfort, struggling to process my three day adventure. This is the third time I have taken part in Mission Waco Mission World Poverty Simulation. It was probably designed to experience once but apparently I am a slow learner and God still has much to teach me. I had the pleasure of assembling what I call Waco Team #3 for this journey. It was made up of two pastors, two community leaders, and two Cal Farley employees.

We met at 8:30 Friday morning in search of a life changing adventure. I know, I know it doesn’t make sense and you are probably thinking, what could these pastors and community leaders possibly learn? What does being homeless for a couple of days, teach you? After all they are already givers and people in the business of serving others. Yes your right, but we are all human and sometimes we forget it’s about people and not programs. We all get caught up with the day to day responsibilities and we get bogged down with life. This journey always allows a way to be emptied and also the opportunity to be filled. It’s hard to put into words, what this experience is like but I will tell you that it is impossible to go through this and not be reminded how to love all people exactly where they are, including yourself.

The first morning we are woken by sprinkles of gentle rain the sky decides to share. I struggle with discomfort from the hard ground and find myself struggling to stand. I head towards the outhouse and moments later I find myself standing by the shopping cart where the water hose is housed. It’s a familiar place and I am not fond of the memories it holds. I am the only one that knows what is ahead of us today and I quickly begin to dread the day before us. At the end of the day we are the only group that could not find food. We are the only ones unworthy of help. We are the only ones that wander around with empty bellies. I am not where I can tell the rest of this story but maybe soon.

Earlier this week, before I left for Waco I gathered food to take to families in need. One day after work I head to a local hotel, where a family of four is staying. I call to let them know I am near and she tells me the room number they are in. I don’t even have to look for the room number because as I turn in the parking lot I notice two small children sitting outside playing on the sidewalk. Everything inside me says this is not OK. It is not ok for this 2 year old and this 5 year old not to have food or a place to call their own. It is not ok that a parking lot is their playground. I am not ok with giving them only what they can cook in a microwave. My heart hurts and I leave wondering if I have done enough. I leave wondering if they have felt my love.

I head to my second stop and it is an elderly couple raising their granddaughter. Grandma has been in the hospital for a couple of weeks and the house is bare. I am thinking this is not Ok. The little girl is happy for pop tarts and cereal even if she has to eat them without milk. Again I’m thinking this is not OK.

That day I was reminded why I will head to Waco and endure another three day weekend. A weekend where people just like me will make me feel unworthy. A weekend where I will struggle with water and food, even with so many people like me all around me. All capable of helping but something holds their hands. I will be given new unwanted labels and I will struggle with not being able to help those I have brought with me. Oh but don’t despair for I am certain that Sundays on its way!

On Sunday we walk a distance to make it to Church Under the Bridge and the moment I step on the curb I am engulfed by the presence of God. Love is abounding and so thick you can fill a jar with it. There is people everywhere. I barely make it to my seat when I notice that my emptiness’s is gone and I am now filled. I stand unaware of those around me and I am grateful for the tears that cleanse my face. I am filled with this precious powerful love. I belong and I am worthy. We all leave with healing from the burdens we have been carrying. We walk back to our meeting place with a much lighter load.

Today my husband calls me outside with great excitement. He has been watching a family of birds for a few days and today they are out and about. He wants to share this beauty with me so I follow him around and together we watch these beautiful creatures. Then he turns to me with such tenderness and says “They are so cute and I just love them so much” and it hits me like a ton of bricks. My heavenly Father says the same about me and since He is not a respecter of persons He says the same about you too.

Matthew 6:26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

It started with my frig

So it’s been awhile since I’ve written. I guess I was waiting to write on a day where I wasn’t such a mess. Apparently that isn’t going to happen so please join me as I share my day! It’s late and I’m tired but I can’t go to bed without sharing.

Five AM came quickly for me this morning. I struggled to get out the door and struggled in traffic. I woke up with a swollen eye so I did what any self-absorbed person would do. I caked on the Preparation H underneath my eyes. Yes Preparation H! No worries because today was laid out to be a fabulous day full of leaders, educators, dreamers and visionaries. I have been looking forward to this day for a couple of weeks now. I am ready to take this day by the horns.

Let me go back a few weeks, we will start the day my frig went out. I must have grabbed a little frustration on that day and somehow it must have settled in my heart. This would be the beginning of a long series of unfortunate events. First my frig would quit working but not to worry I have a frig in the barn. But even with this luxury it would be just a couple of days before this became inconvenient and yet I would feel the need to grab just a little more frustration. It was a couple of weeks before we got that fixed and then we would begin to hassle with car issues. Not one car, oh no that would of been way to easy, it would be three different cars that decided to act up. Then, oh yeah it gets better, I would run over a screw and a nail on the same day and that would be the day I forgot my cell phone at home! Yes frustration overload because my car would leave me stranded.

Oh and let’s not forget my dryer, oh yes it would go out days before my day of fabulous leaders, educators, dreamers and visionaries. Yes I know how much more could I possible handle after all it is all about me, right! Well I’ll tell you how much more, today at lunch my honey calls to let me know that my son’s truck broke down, again. His words “I think we are being tested?” my reply Gods got this!

So busy with my goals for the day and all I wish to accomplish that I haven’t stopped to think of others. That is until I walk in to our last place of business. I see a woman going about her business and my spirit begins to leap. I know I have to do everything I can to talk to this woman. I ask a friend about her and I didn’t let her finish talking before I find myself in the hall way looking for this “new friend”. I see her and before you know it I have followed her into the men’s bathroom. I say hello,” I want to know how you are” and she bows her head. She does not seem a bit surprised that we are both awkwardly standing in the men’s bathroom. She gently places her hand over her face and I begin to speak. I tell her one of my dearest friends struggles with addiction and I explain how much I love my friend, despite her bad choices. I explain that I love my friend without conditions but because I am a mess I tend to fail my friend and I drop the ball more often than I care to admit.
This woman is a lovely woman there are no physical signs of drug use. So why I assumed she was on drugs is beyond me.

Why? I don’t know but the following comes out of my mouth. “What kind of drugs do you use? Then I pause, not believing I just asked a perfect stranger what kind of drugs she uses. But then she answers, meth! You have to know I hate drugs but I love people. I tell her “I woke up at five this morning and it is now five in the afternoon and I’m tired”. I call her by her name and say “it’s been such a long day”. But all worth it to be standing right here with you. My whole purpose today is to be right here. I want you to know that “You are beautifully and wonderfully made”! You matter and I want you to know that you are loved! She tells me, “but I’m such a mess up” and I tell her “so am I”. She says “I’m a bad person” and I tell her “no you’re not you have just made some bad choices”. Our conversation is lengthy and I share the love God has allowed me and the grace and mercy He has shown me.

There in the men’s bathroom we stand embracing each other, two strangers, two women, two mothers, two sisters, two friends. I whisper to her in prayer. Johns 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life and I went on to share John 3:17 For God did not send His Son to condemn the world but to save the world through Him.
In the stillness of love and the silence of acceptance we ask God for strength to make it through another day.

I am reminded……
Isaiah 61 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,

The Tea

Whewww....... its been a tough few weeks. I've worked to much and played to little. I missed a dentist appointment and my pedi appointment as well. In my inbox I had the misfortune of finding a little, not so nice “fan” letter and instead of deleting, which is what I usually do, I replied in an attempt to defend my purpose and my passion.

Its kind of hard to defend Mathew 25:31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. 34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ 40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

Ok I've been a little on edge and a bit grumpy. Call me a bear, if you will! But I'm exhausted and emotionally spent. I grieve for our young people and I can't imagine how tough it is to be young in this day and age. I am tired of losing them to drugs and death. I am sick and tired of cancer and everything it brings. My heart hurts for the hungry and those with no place to call home.

To top it off , a couple of weeks ago my little girl started working at our local cancer center. She is like her mom, a servant to others. She was thrilled to make rounds with her doctor, until she heard him tell a patient the treatment was no longer working. It hurt her heart to see defeat face to face. Not something she will soon forget.

Then quietly God whispers as I sit watching people and wonder about their story. I am pleased that my job is to love and add value to all. I smile as I am reminded of my purpose. You see my purpose is not to please people it is to love people all people.

I am running late this morning and ask God to rescue me from my day. Even my simple pleasure, my morning tea, will not be possible today. I am the last one in and I make my way to an empty seat. It isn't but a few minutes when I notice a young lady making her way across the room. In her hand is a large cup of Chick-fil-A unsweet tea. I bow my head in an attempt to keep tears from rolling. Yes its silly that a cup of tea would heal my heart. You just never know what a small gesture will do for another. It just might rescue them from grief. All day I would visit with this Lifechanger and as she spoke my heart would heal just a little more.

Love each other, be kind to each other and Live Intentionally.

The Gold

I sit and look across the field before me, completely covered with young people. From where I sit they all look like ants. Tents set up on the top of each hill all filled with laughter and food. Every color of the rainbow represented and each one of them spread across the field from one goal post to the other. All gathered to compete for the gold. Despite the weather it truly is my favorite time of year. It is nothing to sit in the stands for 12 straight hours, all with one purpose in mind and that is the cheering on of athletes. It doesn’t matter that it is too cold, too windy, and too hot all with in those twelve hours. We will gladly endure it all for the sake of our athlete!

My daughter, Christian runs and I’m thrilled to do everything and anything to help her attain the gold. I watch and support her when she succeeds and support her just the same when she doesn’t. I encourage her when she’s down and I tell her she can when she doesn’t think she can. It’s my job as a mother to always be there for her. She expects it.

I see her in line waiting to give it all she can and then I see her look towards the stands. She is looking for her momma. She is looking for assurance. I give her a slight nod and that is all she needs to add just a little more confidence to her already healthy confident demeanor. She runs and she fights for the lead. She has no idea what it is not to give all she has and more for her teammates. I look down on the track and with great pride I yell like a crazy person in support of my baby girl. At this point no one in the stands behind me, around me and within a two mile radius have doubt as to which one belongs to me.

There is another girl on my daughter’s team her name is Karah. Karah's momma Belinda is just one of many mommas on the team that will do whatever it takes to help her attain the gold. Last year Karah struggled with injury. It was enough to rob her of confidence. She battled to no avail because the gold was captured by someone else. She completed her year ready to forget it and eager to start a new one. Today I watched the results of what encouragement and persistence can do for a human. Her desire and dreams combined with encouragement allowed her to continue working towards the gold.

It's time for Karah to run and I stand not able to sit as she steps on the line. She is eager and ready to run the 2mile. I too am eager to watch her on the track. I see as she bows her head for a moment and then almost in the same movement she slowly lifts her head just long enough to glance at her mother. Belinda smiles at her precious girl with the kind of love and support only a mother can give. The gun goes off and she begins her run, at the start Karah is just shy of first. This great athlete would run by 7 times and with every lap she would receive words of praise spoken by her mother. These words spoke hope into this athletes dream. Her dream of capturing the gold is now in reach. Her momma’s words would be enough to allow confidence to creep in.

Her head rose a little higher each time she heard her momma yell. I watch intently at each time her shoe hits the track. I see it, we all see she is fighting for the win. Then finally the clouds move and a chill hits my face. The place which is filled with hundreds, is now silent to me. I watch as she aggressively takes the lead. Her face is filled with new found confidence ready to show the world how it’s done. The young athlete now in second fights to take the lead back but there is no holding back this marvelous product of encouragement.

Her last lap and she cannot contain the words that her mother has filled her with. She decides to leave it all on the track. My heart stops and I am overwhelmed at the power of words. Silently I watch as the encouraged athlete takes the curb. Second place begins to challenge her but it’s just not enough to dissuade this athlete full of hope. She crosses the finish line and tears roll down my face. Excitement within me that words have carried her to the gold once more. You see yesterday this young girl won the mile and perhaps many thought it had taken everything out of her. I would of been happy with seeing her win second but obviously the words that consume her are to powerful to settle. Words matter and the lack of words matter too.

What if? What if we spoke these powerful words of encouragement to all? I can’t help but wonder about the athletes that have no one there to cheer them on. I can’t help but wonder of all those parents that can’t be there to watch their child run. Those that don’t have the luxury of taking off of work. Those without the funds to travel to cheer on their child. What if we cheered in love even for those that "don’t belong"? What if we encouraged those so "unworthy" of our words? Would they too not settle?

Watch a YouTube video called "A Football Game Gives Hope". It is a great example of what happens when hope by words is given to those "unworthy" of kind words.

All is well in my soul. 1 Corinthians 9:24

Windows

My vanity, at times, keeps me from being humble. This week I struggled with keeping my hair, well let's just say, "controlled". Monday I stopped by a salon that is open later than most. I am scheduled to speak at a women's conference this evening. My thought is, a trim would help control the mess I have allowed to consume my head. I have visited this place before and I have never left with the outcome I have desired, so why did I think today would be different? My daughter, Keila has told me never to get my hair done at the same place I buy bananas. Obviously, I'm not a good listener. When the cosmetologist is finished trying to control my hair the left side is 3 inches shorter than the right side. I leave thinking, "well its better than what I came in with". My thought as I leave "well maybe a shower will fix the unevenness". Well guess what, it doesn't!

I have two hours before I go on stage and I am prepared to speak out of Isaiah 61 and Matthew 25:31. I am thankful that the focus will be on Gods heart and not on my hair but for right now the focus is 100% on my hair and the concern I have is on my appearance. I use about 100 bobby pins to fix my hair just so. For the moment I am thankful that I will not have to go through a metal detector. As I drive to the church I take longer than normal at every stop sign, just so I can pull down my visor and make another attempt at fixing my hair. I park at the church and yes one last attempt at fixing my do. Finally, I find myself on stage ready to share Gods heart. I open my mouth and the first thing out of my mouth is my "hair-do mishap". Apparently God seems to offer many opportunities to keep me humble.

So stress isn't something I play with often but in the days to follow it would consume me. I would go back to the same salon to fix my hair (I know what your thinking but time is not something I have extra of) and each time I would leave wearing a more defined mullet. Yes, a mullet and yes I have pictures.

For three days I stressed so much about my appearance that I went to bed with headaches and lost sleep over this mullet hair do. In my mind my need was much greater than anyone I encountered. I had speaking engagements on each of my mullet hair do days. Grateful that my mullet hair do would only last 4 days but they were the longest 4 days of my life. Honestly, my looks took over every other priority that week. My hair is all I could think of. It was an awful feeling and it's something I didn't even notice was consuming me until I went in for my third haircut. My "crisis" totally consumed me. It stressed me in so many ways and I even changed my name to "Joe Dirt".

So now the lesson because there is always a lesson within the chaos. What if I put as much emphasis on helping people in crisis with as much urgency as I dedicated to fixing my hair? Would we win this war on poverty? I sit in the passenger seat looking out my car window but all I see is my reflection. I do not see the world but rather my "Joe Dirt" hair-do. So lets focus on looking out the window rather than on our physical appearance and we might just do away with some of this unwanted vanity. This week I was reminded that vanity has a way of hindering you from seeing what's important. If we don't make it a point to look out the window we wont see the need, we won't see the hurt, and we won't see the hopelessness in the world.

While in Borger this week consumed with my self a friend of mine put things into perspective for me. As a man he couldn't of known that I was battling with my vanity. So I took it as a word directly from God. This man doesn't go through life self consumed. He spends his time looking out the window. When I look at people I want to see them and not just the package they are in. I don't want to ever focus on the car they drive or the house they live in. I want to focus on the person. It doesn't matter how perfect ones life may seem I know perfection is not attainable on this earth. I understand that we all have need in one way or another regardless of how much money we have or may not have.

Windows

I look at windows differently now.
When I was a child I used to look out of the backseat window at the starched houses with the manicured lawns and ornamental fences and think to myself “I wish I could live in a house like that; I wish I could have that person’s life.” The passing silhouettes that sometimes stopped to pose in those shutter-framed windows seemed more like the subjects of a Rockwell painting than real people, with real lives, and real issues. Other people’s lives look great when viewed from a passing car at 50 miles an hour.
I look at windows differently now.
One day my family’s situation was transformed from poverty to plenty and I found myself living in one of “those” houses. Money may change everything, but be wary of the change. In our house: sobriety was transformed into alcoholism, faithfulness was abandoned for infidelity, trust was replaced by betrayal, whispers were magnified into shouts, kindness was turned into rage, sanity was twisted into madness, and a loving family became just some inhabitants who happened to have the same address. I remember looking out of my bedroom window at the passengers in the cars passing by and thinking to myself “I wish I could go somewhere else... anywhere else... like them... with them; I wish I could have that person’s life.”
I look at windows differently now.
Now that I’m grown, I know that sometimes staring out from behind the façades of starched houses with manicured lawns and ornamental fences are shattered people just trying to pick up the pieces of their lives while somewhere a passerby makes a wish.
C. H. Winters

Jeremiah 29:11

So I’m struggling to get out of bed this morning and somehow I defeat my blankets. I quickly get ready for my day. I head out the door and the world smiles at me with many white sparkling hellos. The snow glistens as it silently sits on the ground. The crisp morning breeze welcomes me as I head to my car. I smile inside knowing I will have the pleasure of dropping my kids off at school. I love nothing more than building my kids up right before they set out to face the world. I speak words of encouragement and give them the tools they will need in order to conquer the day before them. My son receives his “I love you, you rock and God bless you speech”. He smiles and giggles a little before he heads towards the door. My heart is happy and I sit proudly as I have equipped him with confidence in all he dreams of.



My daughter, well she is a little different I guess everyone at the age of 17 is a little different. I take her to her morning workout, which usually consist of about 6 miles. That alone should speak confidence. She has struggled with confidence this past semester and I have struggled in feeding her confidence. It seems so much more challenging than it used to be when she was 10. We’ve talked about her greatness and all her God given talent. Sometimes she speaks a little unsure of her abilities. She doubts her dreams and hesitates to speak of all she wishes to accomplish. One day last week, while I worked on building her up she said “mom it’s just not my time”.



I’ve thought about that for a little bit and I am going to have to call bull on that. Please excuse my language but I believe that our young people need mentors and advocates that allow them avenues in which to dream. They need people around them that speak words of encouragement. They need people around them telling them “yes regardless of the circumstances that engulf you it is possible to go to college”. Yes regardless of what you see before you it is possible to win. Yes regardless of the situation you are an over comer. Remember we "walk by faith and not by sight". They sure don’t need people convincing them that “it is not their time”. There is enough discouragement and unkind words spoken to these kids they sure don’t need more. Who are you and who am I to think that we have the right to take someone’s dreams?



Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. I’m just saying….



I tell Christian remember you are a child of the most high God. That means its always your time. She gets out of the car with all her gear and I whisper “I love you!”, then I ask “When is it your time?” She replies, “All the time”.

Not everyone has the luxury of having their momma feed them encouragement. That is why God made you!



My day continues and Jeremiah 29:11 is still with me. Today I met a baby raising babies, she has an 18 month old and a 4 month old. She has not completed her education and struggles with just having her basic needs met. When is it her time? I was created to encourage so I do. I add to her rather than take from her. I am reminded that Jeremiah 29:11 applies to her too. Her dream is to be a nurse, dare I take that from her because some may think “it is not her time”.



At the office I speak with a momma raising a one and a half year old. She has placed her new born up for adoption in hopes of allowing him a better way of life. She struggles to pay rent and to put food on the table yet she still dreams of an education. It will be such a battle for her to succeed. Would it be easier if I just told her that it may just not be her time? Or does Jeremiah 29:11 apply to her too?



Finally I work with a 19 year old that is about to be homeless. She is alone as she has aged out of foster care. What will become of her? What if we got a clue and added value rather than removed it. She is frustrated that she cannot get help because she is not good at working the system. Everything is working against her and if we truly want her to succeed we are going to have to make a way for her to continue dreaming. We have to begin telling her that it is her time. Regardless of what she looks like and where she lives Jeremiah 29:11 applies to her too.



I don’t know, I am just a simple person and I don’t know as much as some but I am certain that the verses below apply to all people. Imagine how we would impact this world if we actually believed the following.



Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Isaiah 44:24 Thus saith the LORD, thy redeemer, and he that formed thee from the womb, I am the LORD that maketh all things; that stretcheth forth the heavens alone; that spreadeth abroad the earth by myself;



Ephesians 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Strangers

I am exhausted and just had some me time with a great book in a hot bath; it really doesn’t get better than this. I am ready to crawl into bed with a comfy blanket but then guilt sets in. I am being greedy with my day. It doesn’t take me long to decide that I want to take some time to share my day with you.

I had so many givers today and the gifts varied from plums to watermelon, to Chex Mix, to donuts, to bread and other miscellaneous goodies. I had a Lifechanger donate 34 turkeys, 34 bags of potatoes and 34 boxes of stuffing. I am truly overwhelmed by all the Lifechangers in my life. I received too many gifts to list and my cup is running over. I feel so very blessed.

After I returned from retrieving my blessings, I had the pleasure of helping a Lifechanger load some of my blessings into his car. He has plans of taking them back to share with a shelter and men in recovery. These men are anxiously awaiting his arrival. Fruit is a treat they rarely have the opportunity to consume. The day is just lovely so I am in a dress and heels. As we are loading, through the corner of my eye I notice two large strangers approaching me. As they get closer I notice a dog they hold on a leash. I can see their caution as they approach me. They are now close enough to touch and they both bow their head. I assume they think I do not see them. They are wrong for they are not invisible to me. I think they are startled by me as I see them. I call out to them “sir, sir are you hungry?” They look at each other and look around to see if maybe I’m speaking to someone else. They are not invisible to me I see them.

I assume the earth holds still if just for this moment. The sky is my shelter and the trees surround me with their strength. I glance upward with a smile on my face and I am certain that God looks down and smiles back. I look over at the two men and a slight breeze caresses my cheek. I am being kissed by my God. There is beauty here but it can only be seen by those that choose to see it. The beauty is not in their rugged clothes or their unkept hair but rather in the acceptance that is shone on their face. They smile as I reach for granola bars and other treasures I have in my car. I hand the food to them and their gratitude is tangible. I understand their hunger and that is not a memory I like to recall. I look into their eyes and they see me. They are large men and one has a black eye yet I have no fear. They remove their cap in honor of my presence and bid me a beautifully farewell.

I am blessed for this moment in time as we stand here as humans. We are not concerned with the color of our skin. We are not concerned with the faith that each of us follows. We are not concerned with deciding who is worthy and who is not. We are not concerned because we are just people.

I get into my car and sit just for a moment. Tears fill my eyes and prayer fills my space. My heart is full and my spirit content. It is 5:00pm and the delivery of turkeys begins. I feel like Santa at the mere thought of sharing. I would be here all night if I tried to share my turkey adventures so I will spare you the details. I will share that Jacob decided to join me in the sharing. We made it home by 9:00pm and I am happy to have shared my time with others. Tonight I experienced Hope and I am now convinced of this; where there is Hope darkness will always give way.

Another thought is Hebrews 13:2 Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.

What if? I giggle silently in the comfort of all this fullness I sit in.

I am thankful 2013

I am thankful that I wake in a nice warm bed. I hear Jacob getting ready for work and then I hear him quietly closes the bedroom door in honor of my rest. I snuggle deep in my blankets and begin to give thanks for my life. Finally out of bed and I make it to my laundry room, I throw my bedding in the washer. The thought of fresh bedding and suddenly I am thankful for my washer. Back in bed I sit typing on my laptop taking advantage of the internet. I pause a moment and decide both of these are both luxuries. I wander into my living areas and pick up where I left off yesterday with my cleaning. It doesn’t take long before I am overwhelmed with gratitude for my home. It may not be as large as I would like it or as perfect as I think it should be but it’s my home. Moments like this always take me back to my homelessness experience and I shudder as I remember that horrible feeling of not belonging. It is not a feeling people should ever have to understand. The silly thing is we all have the power to allow each other a sense of belonging but seldom do we exercise it. We are so busy with trying to belong that we forget to allow others the opportunity to belong. It is as simple as a smile or a greeting that allows others to feel like they belong in this space.

I walk to turn on the tube just so that I can have background noise. Gently I am reminded of what I paid just yesterday to have service for this tube. I watch a little while and grow my faith as I sit here. I am thankful for the breath in my body that will allow me another day to serve. I am thankful for my legs, my arms, my eyes and everything that allows me to do what I do. Walking into my kitchen I hit the switch and yes that bill was also paid yesterday. This luxury allows electricity to run through my walls and light takes over the darkness in this space. I am thankful for life and how I choose daily to live it. I am not wasting anytime given to me by merely existing. I am thankful that God has inspired me to live and to live with intent.
I open my cabinet filled with food and my heart begins to ache. I am thankful for the food I often take for granted. I had a call yesterday from my office. Our lovely front office Lifechanger calls to let me know that I have two guests in need of food. Until this moment I had forgotten that children will be without food since school is closed for thanksgiving. I forget only because I take for granted that all my basic needs are met. I am thankful as I peek in my fridge and check on my turkey and ham. Today I will be thankful that I am blessed to have food in my home.

I am thankful when I open the front door. I take a half step out my door onto my porch only to be kissed by a ray of sunshine and quickly I am wrapped by the morning’s cool breeze. Gazing upward I step out a little further allowing cold air to rush inside my nice warm home. How many sit out in this cold morning because there is no home for them. This is the time of year when “us well-meaning givers” go out and serve at a soup kitchen or hand blankets and coats to homeless people. I am almost certain that this is not the only time of the year when they experience hunger and when the cold bites as they sit out in the element.

I am thankful that I am blessed with peace offered to me by soldiers that will do without their family this holiday season. I am thankful for the freedom I am given, to serve and worship my Savior. I am gifted the privilege of freedom to celebrate any way I see fit. I don’t recall any part of the military sending out a questioner with questions like where I work, if I work, my religion, my education or what color I am. They don’t defend this country because of who I am. They defend our country because of who they are. Stay with me as there is power in this and my spirit is so happy to share. What you do for others should always be done because of who you are and not because of who the people you are serving are. Can you say “freedom in giving?” Wow Wow Wow Wow there is no way to “qualify” people. Because people are people some having more choices than others but people nonetheless. After all it’s not about you it’s about others and when you get this you are able to leave judgment behind.

And just in case there are Believers that are struggling with getting over judgment. This is what the word of God says about people.

Psalm 139:14 (NIV) 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Isaiah 44:24 (KJV) 24 Thus saith the LORD, thy redeemer, and he that formed thee from the womb, I am the LORD that maketh all things; that stretcheth forth the heavens alone; that spreadeth abroad the earth by myself;

Ephesians 2:10 (ESV) 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

What if we gave without the desire to qualify a person’s worth. Allow yourself to walk in Love.

Time Off

It’s cold outside so grab a blanket, some hot tea and sit with me for a while. I pray you have the opportunity to take some time off during the holiday season; I’ve taken the whole week off. Yes I know it’s been sometime since I took this amount of time off but I have a plan. I want to rest, I want to clean, I want to cook, I want to spend time with my children and I want to write. Wow just realized how ambitious that all sounds.

I only share in hopes that we all learn something along the way. Regardless of how old or young you are we all experience similar feelings and hurt is one of them. We are all familiar with hurt in some shape or form. This morning I have a divine appointment with an older man. I can hardly contain myself as I know I have much to learn from this visit. He arrives and quickly we begin our conversation. It isn’t long before I realize his hurt is different than mine but hurt none the less.
This gentleman belongs to an extraordinary generation of people. This generation of people is under the impression that all females are ladies and should be treated as such. They hold a high standard for morals and values. They respect each other and kindness is something that is freely given. It is a generation of people that still look after their neighbors and help when help is needed.

From what I gather this generation is keen on education and hard work. They believe in people and meaning is not in text or emails it is in words and people. I sit here absorbing all that I can knowing that someday they will be no more. Time is certain to consume them. There will come a day where I can no longer sit face to face with this generation and gain wisdom. How can I mimic this behavior? How can I learn to love my neighbor like this group of people loves?

As we validate each other and as we conclude our conversation he grabs a book lying on the table. He opens it and says “I brought you a gift”. I smile and tears quickly begin to fill my eyes. I am honored and I feel special. I look around and in this place many of this generation sit sipping coffee. They speak to each other as they are family. As a woman departs the gentlemen stand in honor of her presences. As one gentleman blesses his food he removes his hat in honor of his Maker.

I respond with “thank you”. He opens his book and begins to autograph the inside cover. He hands it to me and I read the most beautiful words ever printed on paper. Here are the words he has written “she helps people”. This has just encouraged me to do more, to love more, and to live more. When I leave this earth I want to have nothing left. I want everything I have to be shared or given in some way shape or form. I want those three words to be true of me and so starts my “time off”.

I will drop off my kids at school with no rush to get to any particular place. I drag my daughter along for a surprise breakfast; yes you guessed it, at my local Chick-fil-A. Before we head for breakfast we stop and gather turkey and ham for a family in need. I’ve decided there is really no “time off”. At every moment in time we should be pouring into others or allow the opportunity to have others pour into us. Wow what a simple concept.

If we took time seriously, we would treat it as one of our most valuable possessions. There would be no time off. Every moment would be spent blessing others or being blessed. Time will never take time off. It is constant and it moves even when we are still.On my “time off” I will treat time as though there is not enough because truly there isn’t. I will give thanks as I humbly serve or rather as I help people.

Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Coffee

Grab a cup of coffee and sit with me for a while. I sit in a room full of family and my heart is not present. My heart is still with what I have experienced today.Let me take you back to the beginning. Four years ago I started this blog on the urging of one of my dearest friends. The premise for this blog was to share all my great shopping tips. It wouldn’t take long before this blog would turn into my self-care. This is a great way to share what I am feeling. Once I write what I have experienced during my day it no longer belongs to me. I gladly give it over to you.

Today my schedule has been jam packed, come to think of it yesterday was no different. On my to do list I have three families that are in need of food. A young lady that is eager to serve is willing to help me gather food for these families. In search of food we head to the church with the red door. We enter the building and there is this sweet overwhelming presence that awaits us each time we visit this place. It doesn’t take long before we begin filling boxes. The young lady carefully choses items for each box according to the quantity of children in each family. She silently teaches that everyone matters. Without words she gives value.

My car full I head back to the office. All day I have battled this wind and I am weary. I am struggling with kindness as I am eager for time off. In front of my office I park and look behind me only to see my first family parking behind me. I get out of the car and place an insincere smile on my face. I walk towards this family and quickly notice a little one skipping behind her momma. My heart is full and my smile is now sincere. They are so thankful for the food they have received. This baby gratefully picks up the applesauce so carefully chosen by our eager servant.

I have a few minutes before my next family arrives so I decide to drive around the building in hopes of gathering more items to share. As I I drive back around to the front my next family is waiting for me. I say hello with the assumption that they are waiting for me and the young girl replies “I knew it was you!” She looks at her mom and says “I told you it was her.” I introduce myself because we have only chatted on the phone. This is our first face to face meeting. The young girl follows me to the car to help me unload. She is so happy that they will go home with a car full of groceries. We stand by their car and chat about school. The oldest sister speaks of completing her education. She has dreams of buying her little sister a car by the time she graduates high school. Mom speaks of her girls with such pride. She is overcome with tears at the goodness she sees in this food that is shared. Mom is grateful to have what they have. I say my goodbyes and as I head up the stairs to my front door the young teenager yells “ma’am thank you, thank you so much”. I am overcome with this beautiful gratefulness.

The third family calls to inform me they do not have a way to come get the food. Reluctantly I agree to deliver. It is dark out and I am not familiar with their neighborhood. I head their way anyway and quickly find their home. The momma meets me at my car to help me unload the goods. As we reach the door I notice a set of eyes peeking through the screen door. This wind that has been disrupting my day all day has suddenly just stopped. I hear my heart and I am thankful for being present at this moment. I see a small glimmer in those little eyes. I look closely and now I am certain there is hope in those eyes. A little boy appears behind this little girl and he gently asks me if I am bringing food. I nod yes because no words form in my broken being. He reaches for the door and lets me in. I step inside this little home and in his little sweet innocent voice he asks “can I help you”? I softly speak “well of course”. I have him grab one end of the box while I hold on to the other end. Oh how my heart hurts. He directs me to the tidy kitchen and I thank him for helping me. I can no longer make eye contact with the mother as the brokenness I feel now shows through my eyes. I head towards the door and assure her I will return anytime she needs me. The little boy reaches for my hand “ma’am, thank you”. The whole time this little one makes eye contact. He has my heart. I turn around and head towards the door unsure that I will be able to respond. All of the sudden something with in me allows me to speak two simple words. Your welcome!
Recently I heard that Tyler Perry wrote a letter to younger self. I thought it was powerful. Well today my thought is why not write a letter to your present self. What would you say to how you are currently living? Are you choosing to do? Are you giving in a way that allows Hope to others? What is your purpose and what will people say about you when you are gone? Think about it and allow self-reflection. If you don’t like what you see change it.

Today through the eyes of little ones I learned I must work on my life’s purpose at every moment. The only break life will give me is the moment I leave this earth.

Here you go just so we are not tempted to tip toe around this one. 1 John 3:17 If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

I want to tell you what I saw today

Today I see a homeless man walk by me. I stop him and ask him if he would like some snacks. He replies with “boy would I”. I ask him to wait where he is standing and I will run inside and grab a bag of snacks. I return with a small bag of goodies. He gently smiles and at the corner of each eye a small tear makes its way down his face. He is not invisible I see him.
Later in the day I go to a small shelter, for men working on parting with their habits. As I walk in I see clean and well-kept quarters. I ask the gentleman that has invited me in a few questions. Because I hear him I discover food is scarce and snacks are not possible. My heart hurts at what I see. I have food to share. He is not invisible to me I see him.
My last stop before I reach home is at the small church with the red door. I walk in and see remnants of a craft show and I smile at all the pretties as I go by. I reach the closet where food is stored and fill box after box for families in need. Today this will aid a family of 4 with empty cupboards. Father has been ill for weeks and that has caused great need. The children get home from school with no snacks awaiting them and dinner is out of the question. They are not invisible this church sees them.
I see a mother, I see a friend all in the same woman. She is lost in a world of drugs and she feels is invisible to most. I show her love and speak to her in the same way I would speak to my girlfriends. She speaks with a burdened heart, “Why do you talk to me like that?” I reply because you that’s how I talk to people. She reaches to hug me then turns around and walks away. My heart hurts that she feels discarded. Regardless of her behavior she is still somebody’s daughter, she is still somebody’s mother, she is still somebody’s sister and she is still somebody’s friend. She is somebody.
We are so busy that we miss so many things that we should see. I want to challenge you to take a moment and see things that you normally pass by. Luke 10:25-37 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?” He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.” But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’ “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?” The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.” Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”
I know its heavy but it’s also truth, I’m not in the habit of speaking things that tickles ones ears. My Hope requires me to speak truth that causes action. Take a moment to live with intention. Don’t be content with just being alive take it a step further and live intentionally. Choose to smile at someone and perhaps greet someone one as you approach them. Maybe you can make eye contact instead of being distracted by your phone. For at least 90 seconds actively listen in a way that will allow you to connect and when you connect make sure you validate that person’s existence.

Our babies have much to teach us. Please take a few minutes to read what my son Joshua, wrote as a speech when running for student council at his school.

I want to tell you how we can make our school the best ever. I want to tell you that each one of you is important. I want to tell you that you being here is awesome. I want to tell you that what you say and what you do really does matter. I want to tell you that when you smile at someone it makes them feel like they belong. I want to tell you that if you ever feel alone you are not. I want to tell you when you are struggling there is someone here to help you. I want to tell you that what you wear doesn’t matter. I want to tell you that where you live doesn’t matter. I want to tell you that I’ll be your friend no matter what. I want to tell you that together we can make a difference.
But most of all I want to tell you that by looking for what does matter we won’t have time for things that don’t matter. Things like bulling, like making fun of others, like cheating, like lying, like hurting others, help me help you find things that matter.
Joshua Moreno 10 years old Canyon Intermediate School