I want to tell you what I saw today

Today I see a homeless man walk by me. I stop him and ask him if he would like some snacks. He replies with “boy would I”. I ask him to wait where he is standing and I will run inside and grab a bag of snacks. I return with a small bag of goodies. He gently smiles and at the corner of each eye a small tear makes its way down his face. He is not invisible I see him.
Later in the day I go to a small shelter, for men working on parting with their habits. As I walk in I see clean and well-kept quarters. I ask the gentleman that has invited me in a few questions. Because I hear him I discover food is scarce and snacks are not possible. My heart hurts at what I see. I have food to share. He is not invisible to me I see him.
My last stop before I reach home is at the small church with the red door. I walk in and see remnants of a craft show and I smile at all the pretties as I go by. I reach the closet where food is stored and fill box after box for families in need. Today this will aid a family of 4 with empty cupboards. Father has been ill for weeks and that has caused great need. The children get home from school with no snacks awaiting them and dinner is out of the question. They are not invisible this church sees them.
I see a mother, I see a friend all in the same woman. She is lost in a world of drugs and she feels is invisible to most. I show her love and speak to her in the same way I would speak to my girlfriends. She speaks with a burdened heart, “Why do you talk to me like that?” I reply because you that’s how I talk to people. She reaches to hug me then turns around and walks away. My heart hurts that she feels discarded. Regardless of her behavior she is still somebody’s daughter, she is still somebody’s mother, she is still somebody’s sister and she is still somebody’s friend. She is somebody.
We are so busy that we miss so many things that we should see. I want to challenge you to take a moment and see things that you normally pass by. Luke 10:25-37 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?” He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.” But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’ “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?” The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.” Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”
I know its heavy but it’s also truth, I’m not in the habit of speaking things that tickles ones ears. My Hope requires me to speak truth that causes action. Take a moment to live with intention. Don’t be content with just being alive take it a step further and live intentionally. Choose to smile at someone and perhaps greet someone one as you approach them. Maybe you can make eye contact instead of being distracted by your phone. For at least 90 seconds actively listen in a way that will allow you to connect and when you connect make sure you validate that person’s existence.

Our babies have much to teach us. Please take a few minutes to read what my son Joshua, wrote as a speech when running for student council at his school.

I want to tell you how we can make our school the best ever. I want to tell you that each one of you is important. I want to tell you that you being here is awesome. I want to tell you that what you say and what you do really does matter. I want to tell you that when you smile at someone it makes them feel like they belong. I want to tell you that if you ever feel alone you are not. I want to tell you when you are struggling there is someone here to help you. I want to tell you that what you wear doesn’t matter. I want to tell you that where you live doesn’t matter. I want to tell you that I’ll be your friend no matter what. I want to tell you that together we can make a difference.
But most of all I want to tell you that by looking for what does matter we won’t have time for things that don’t matter. Things like bulling, like making fun of others, like cheating, like lying, like hurting others, help me help you find things that matter.
Joshua Moreno 10 years old Canyon Intermediate School

Homeless Day three

I wake in the city of Waco once more but this time in a King-size bed at the local upscale hotel. I have just experienced a day with God at the conference I attended. I am amazed at so many Lifechangers attempting to love one another. The group is diverse and many denominations are represented. Because I love people I don’t care what church you go to. We had the opportunity to worship together, pray together, love together, eat together and cry together. At my table sit Catholics, Baptist, non-denominational and there is even a Pentecostal in the mix. I am certain this is what heaven will be like.
I arrived the day before to a not so upscale hotel. We pulled in around midnight and I was a little bothered when I saw the place, I would be staying for the night. First of all I had to open my own door, there was no concierge, there was no one to take my bags up to my room and I definitely would not be asking for the top floor because three were only two floors.
I walk in to my room and inspect every corner. I quickly begin browsing the web for more suitable accommodations. I doze off complaining and wake up complaining of my undesirable surroundings. I call downstairs and inform the nice receptionist that I would not being staying here the rest of my time in Waco.
I get ready and head downstairs. I glance over the meager items of food. There is no way I am eating their food I will have to make do with dry cereal. Apparently I have forgotten, the last time I was here I slept on the sidewalk in the rain and I had no choice of food.
During my last adventure here I met a young girl that was also going through this thing we call Poverty Simulation. We had just a few moments together but because she was the same age as my little girl I felt the need to make sure she was ok. I asked her how she felt about not having anything to eat. I asked her how she felt about having to sleep outside on a table.
She replied, “it’s no different than home”. My heart hurt. This young girl was part of a leadership team from the inner city in the town she was from. That this would be normal to a child is just beyond me. We have 16 million children living in poverty in our country. That means 4 out of ten children are struggling to have their basic needs met. I am thinking that is not ok with me and yet I complain because the hotel is not up to my standards.
As I go through this conference I am reminded that we have the ability to change the world. We have the ability to make a difference if only in just one person. We just get so caught up on blame that we forget about Isaiah 61, Isaiah 58 and Matthew 25. We forget that we were all “created in His image. We forget that we were all “wonderfully and beautifully made”. Some people just have the luxury of being w born into a family with lots of money.
I remember walking twenty two blocks to finish off the last leg of this simulation. Finally I arrived to this thing called “Church Under the Bridge”, I noticed church buses and church vans coming in, in droves. As I walk past these groups, I hear a pastor tell his group, “mingle get to know the homeless”. I ignore and find my way to the place where water was being distributed. I cut in line and grabbed water for my family. I found a place to sit and watch as all the people around us are eating breakfast. We have been instructed not to partake of the food that was being distributed. At this point my hurt is turning into anger. Sitting in all my emotions, a young man that looks like a pastor, whatever that means. Approachs me and I instantly know he is going to try to “get to know me”. He is going to try and find out how I ended up homeless. He didn’t get the chance.
My heart cried out, “No sir, you don’t get to come play church on Sunday. I needed you Yesterday and Saturday and Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday. You don’t get to play church on Sunday. I was so broken. My spirit is crushed at the mere thought that humans would treat humans in this way. During this “walk of mine” others had no regards for me. They did not see me as human. I stand here at this “Church Under the Bridge a little less than human. I am reminded of what I told Jacob before I left. I said don’t worry about me honey, there is a church at every corner and my middle class family of faith will see me through. I am standing here in all my nothingness completely empty and no my family of faith has not seen me.
In the background the music begins to play and these are the words I hear. He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane I am a tree bending beneath the weight of this wind and mercy. When all of the sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by Glory and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me
Oh how He loves me so oh how oh He loves me …..I stand crying uncontrollably being changed by the undeniable love my Savior has for me. Even in all my nothingness. A beautiful lady standing next to me reaches to hug me and she softly whispers “girl I love you”. Out of her lack she gave the most. We stand united just two empty homeless women. No vanity, no judgment, we stand completely empty waiting to be filled with His mercy and grace.
I walk away filled with love so much that it doesn’t fit in my being. I leave a different person. I leave understanding homelessness and I am sad that I get to go home and my new friends don’t have a home to go home to.

In honor of Larry Pelt

Today as the clouds cover the sky sorrow covers my heart. This afternoon my “Lazy Joe” went home. His struggle in life was always worth all the effort he invested. Everything he did and all he endured was for others. I am a better person for having known him. He is the Lifechanger that taught me how to be a Lifechanger. I am blessed to have had the privilege of serving him and his beautiful family. At this moment I am thankful that my faith allows me to sit here physically unable to speak because of the sorrow that consumes me but at the same time certain of one thing and that is the mercy that Larry received the moment he reached heaven. That’s his real name and there was never anything lazy about him. I only share it to honor him and with the permission of his wife. What if we loved with out words?

My Heart Hurts

I arrive to a stack of folders, emails and messages, all from people seeking a better way of life. I am certain that every single one of them is searching for an opportunity to earn a living wage. Education is what they are in search of but they just can't verbalize it yet.
Later in the day I have lunch with a new friend. I met her when she started contributing to our cause. I arrive late and she doesn't seem to mind. While enjoying our meal we begin to converse. I notice that she seems uncomfortable. I would even say embarrassed. We continue our conversation and I sense she is becoming more uneasy by the minute. My heart takes hold and I begin to understand what it is, I have seen this many times.

I change the conversation by sharing my story. I speak of the times I was in need and she begins to cry. I know it is not my story that brings those tears. I am certain now that need is present. I ask how I can help. She begins to tell me that she is a proud college graduate and she is certain that no one else has gone through what she is facing. I assure her she is wrong. With much shame she speaks of her need and I assure her that there are other proud college graduates that have been through the same struggle.

On my way back to my office I make a quick stop at one of our local Life Changing churches. They truly practice what they preach, "to do unto the least of these". I stop to thank them for funds and like always take the time to share a story. I tell them of our single mother of three. I explain that she was abandoned by her husband. I mention how well she is doing in school and I thank them for providing the funds that will reinstate her electricity and water. Before I leave I assure them that they are building capacity for those in need.

I arrive at my office and another Neighbor is waiting for me. I inform her that a Life Changer has gifted her funds to have her utilities reinstated. She is overwhelmed and so am I. I am overwhelmed with the thought of good Samaritans in this day and age, caring for someone they don't know. Through her tears she says she wishes she could do something to repay them. I tell her she can. I tell her to graduate and someday she will be able to help someone like she has been helped. She assures me she will.

My heart is full. She leaves and I begin to go through my emails. I open one and immediately wish that I had not. As I read I feel as if a dagger has pierced my heart. This email is different it hurts in a different kind of way.

You have to remember most of the time I live in a fairytale. This fairytale of mine is a place where people never say no, when asked to help others. This fairytale of mine is a place where people care about each other, just because they are people. This fairytale of mine is a place where everyone I am surrounded with gives of their excess so others can succeed. This fairytale of mine is a place where the elderly are honored and respected.

This fairytale of mine is a place where children are feed when they are hungry. This fairytale of mine is a place where "every child has the right to be prepared to go to college". Finally this fairytale I live in is a place where the battle on Poverty is being won.

Sometimes I forget that not everyone wants to be good and decent to each other. Well this email reminded me that not everyone lives in my fairytale. This email was from a “gentlemen” who wanted me to know that not everyone wanted to help "Lazy people".

I sit with my face in my hands and I think of what I should reply. Ugliness is beginning to take over. My fingers swoosh across the keyboard and on the screen a clever reply is forming. A reply that will not only pierce this “gentleman's” heart but it will make him feel as if I am twisting the dagger as I insert it. And just when he thinks I am done I would add another small line in my reply. One that would allow him to feel as if I had jerked the dagger back out only to pierce it again. Almost instantly I am reminded of grace and mercy, which are granted to me daily. I am moved to hit delete.

But it doesn’t stop me from trying to explain my actions to God. God “I merely want to share with this fellow”. I want to share with him the story of my big blue eyed curly haired three year old little girl. I want to invite him to spend the day with me. I request just one day. One day so he can meet some of my “Lazy Families” and while in the mist of these "Lazy Families". God “I will ask him to pick one, just one “Lazy Child” that he would refuse food to. I want to invite him to meet my friend "Lazy Joe" a Neighbor that would wake at midnight 6 days a week to walk two hours to catch a bus to work. God “I will explain how on "Lazy Joes" day off he would get up early to stand at man labor to find more work”. God just let me mention to this “gentleman” that for two of those months my "Lazy Joe" did all this with a broken foot.

I am certain that "I will do all the good I can. By all the means I can. In all the ways I can. At all the times I can. To all the people I can. As long as I can".

Homelss and still day two

Overwhelmed Its 7:39am and I’ve just rolled out of bed. My daily routine requires me to leave my home at 7:30am. I scurry without direction, finally bathed, clothed and everything in hand I head out the front door. It’s a bit cloudy and mist softly kisses me. I look upwards and slowly close my eyes. This tender moment takes me and once more I am back to day two of my homeless experience. I am back on the sidewalk with my eyes wide open. I blink gently simply to allow my tears to make their way onto the cold hard sidewalk. I can hear myself breath and that soothes me just a bit. I begin to think of my home and my heart hurts at the mere thought of my children having to suffer homelessness. I feel so alone even among others, I am alone. Homeless and its day two in the afternoon, we make it back to our appointed spot. We are the second group to arrive and I start to look at the faces of all the other “homeless participants” as they file in. In the young participants I see anger, shame, frustration, excitement and defeat. There is a group that has scored big; they received help from all the places they went to. There is no worry there as they have a skip in their step as they walk toward us. All is good in their world. I notice another group and there is just shame and defeat. They did not get help. They are hungry and looking for someone to share. I bow my head as I sit under a tree to keep the sun from having its way with me. I sit next to my family and watch as a mix of emotions takes us. This overwhelming feeling of guilt consumes me because we have eaten and others have not. This food we consumed was made possible only because of deceit. I sit helpless and hopeless; my desire is to help all those in need of food or something to drink. I sit not being able to do anything for them. My hurt is turning into anger for those that are loaded with plenty to eat. My question is why them? What’s wrong with me? We sit under a large shade tree waiting for someone to open the gate that keeps us from using the outhouse. I see one of ours; he goes around the fence and sneaks in through the back. At this point I have thrown my arms up in defeat. I will find no order in this crisis. I can do nothing about my situation. There is no plan in place. Finally the gate is open and we gather just inside of this uncomfortable chain link fence. The announcer speaks and we are told that dinner will be served inside. The cost is $6.00. I am standing just outside of the outhouse and I see the “cashier” ask part of our group if we are eating dinner. Instantly they all bow their head and one speaks without looking up and says “we don’t have any money”. My heart is completely crushed, we don’t belong, and we are insufficient. I feel inadequate because I cannot provide for my new family. Today I stop at a family’s house, I knock at the door and the sweet momma answers. She stands at the door and intently listens to every word I say. I tell her I come bearing food. Tears consume her and she invites me in. Tonight she is not eating so that her child will have plenty. My son Josh and my husband Jacob carry the food inside her home. I hear her little one whisper thank you to my boys and my heart gives way. I stand humbly in her kitchen. Through a storm of tears I meekly pray and she interrupts by asking God for blessings for my family. She thanks Him for providing and I am swept with emotion. She says “you don’t understand what you’ve done for us.” I assure her I do.

Isaiah Challenge

Today was day two of sitting alongside amazing Lifechangers, people who are relentlessly battling this war on Poverty? Today is also day one of The Isaiah Challenge, in my life. Ok some of you may be asking whose Isaiah and what is he challenging? Well I’ll tell you, Isaiah was a prophet who saw the needs of his day and time. This challenge was taken out of the book of Isaiah and developed by my friend Angela Asbill. The scripture reads as so Isaiah 58: 6 "Is this not the fast that I have chosen: To loose the bonds of wickedness, To undo the heavy burdens, To let the oppressed go free, And that you break every yoke? 7 Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out; When you see the naked, that you cover him, For the next 60 days I will intentionally sacrifice in a way that will allow me to show love to others regardless of race, religion or gender. This challenge will challenge me to sacrifice something daily whether it is food, clothes, money, time etc. I will sacrifice with the purpose of truly living Mark 12:30-31 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Like Isaiah I want to take note of the need around me. Not just to acknowledge that there is need but I want to do something about it. Won’t you join me? Well day one is almost gone and I still have not sacrificed a thing. It’s Thursday so I decide to join my honey at a football game. Isn’t that a sacrifice? I am sitting at a football game and it doesn’t take long before hunger takes over. I decide to leave at half time and head to my local burger joint. To be honest at this point in my day, I have forgotten of The Isaiah Challenge. It isn’t long before I spot a burger joint and I pull in to look at the menu. I order and then proceed to go around to the window. I stop and wait on the smiling cashier. I hand my money to her and she grabs my hand as she reaches for my money. I am shocked at the feel of her freezing hand. Without thinking I reach to my backseat and grab my jacket. I hand it to her and tell her to keep warm. She says “oh no, I cannot accept it.” I reply with “oh yes you can”. I literally shove it in the window and I don’t take no for an answer. I move forward to the next window and grab my food. So did I sacrifice or did I give? Within these 60 days I want to learn to sacrifice not just to give. Not that there is anything wrong with giving. I just really want to grow to love people more and I know that for me that will have to be learned through sacrifice. On my drive home I begin to go over my actions and then I ask “show me how to sacrifice”. On the radio as I am driving this is what I hear. “It’s the hardest thing to give away and the last thing on your mind today. It always goes to those who don’t deserve. It’s the opposite of how you feel…Show me how to love the unlovable. Show me how to reach the unreachable. Help me now to do the impossible.” Matthew West With these words I am gently shoved. I decide to go home to count the jackets I have. I went to one of the three closets I use and I counted my jackets just in that closet. In one closet I counted 53 jackets. Yes 53! So what did it cost me to give my jacket? I have discovered that it is easy to give out of my surplus and yet I don’t do it often enough. Would I have given it if it was my only jacket? I love my job because I see it daily. I see families that have nothing, easily give almost everything they have so that others won’t go without. That is sacrifice. I pray to learn from them on this topic of sacrifice. Apparently I am not a quick learner so I’ll let you know how I do at the end of my challenge. Matthew 25:36 I needed clothes and you clothed me,

Homeless Day Two-Morning

I am not sure what time it is but I see light peeking through and around the trees. I reach to make sure my new family is still with me, and then sluggishly I get up and find my way to our outhouse. Yes an outhouse! I head back to my place of rest and I take a shared tube of toothpaste. Every movement appears to take place in slow motion and I can still remember every color, every odor and every noise. Everything is so vivid; it is almost like I have never seen a sky or trees or grass or anything of beauty before today. I pause just for a moment and gaze at the beautiful colorful unripen fruit on a nearby tree. I am in awe of this new found beauty that surrounds me and that it would reach out to me to someone so insignificant and yet gently greet me. Then there are these clouds, these clouds of shimmering cotton seem to follow me, as if they were assigned to protect me and my family. I gather myself and walk to a nearby water hose and wonder at the ability it has to wash away my mess, my judgment and all my ignorance. This particular hose provides water heated by the sun itself and I am under the impression that it never cools off. I pour the water on my legs and even this small task makes my heart hurt. I begin to wash off all the nights’ debris; I pour water on my feet in hopes of keeping my perfectly maintained pedicure intact. I watch as the warm water gushes on my pretty pink toes and even if just for a second, they are clean. Oh but wait because just as quickly the mud that I am standing in creeps right back on to my well-polished toes. I stand out in the open and begin to wash my face and once more water washes my tears away. Cautious but not caring whose watching I continue washing every uncovered limb. The water is soothing to my spirit and somehow my heart mends just a little. Only 12 hours in and my heart is in pieces and my spirit is broken. I want my husband to come rescue me. I do all I can and finally head towards a picnic table where our two night watch men are seated. Two of the men in our group couldn’t sleep so they kept watch of our family. We sit silently for what seems like forever. Everything and everyone is gentle at this point and softly we begin talking of our restless night. Not complaining simply speaking of our night. It is somehow silently understood that no one really slept more than 20 minutes at a time and comfort was certainly nowhere to be found. Weeks later I still have bruises on each hip from the hard side walk I slept on. I now so sadly understand the use of cardboard and newspaper for bedding. No one should have to understand this truth. One by one the others join us and a tangible comfort is among us. I keep saying “It is silently understood” because our form of communication no longer requires words. We sit anxiously not knowing what to expect but we are certain of one thing and that is that “we are all in this together”. We are allowed inside our meeting place only to find a small group eating their breakfast. We are given the opportunity to watch. Before we disburse we are given a list of items to find and we are sent on our way but not before they wish us luck on finding food. The temperature now is about 102 degrees and the only reason I know this is because I goggled the temperature for this day, when we were back home with our technology in hand. We are in search of food and water as we are all being harmed by the sun hanging so high above us. I spot a title loan place and go inside. I ask the receptionist if she could tell me where we could find some food and water. She seems to be displeased with my appearance or may be the way I smell offends her. It doesn’t take long for me to understand that I am not welcomed. I leave without help and not an ounce of kindness is offered. I do leave with a new label this one is titled shame. Outside I stop a lady walking down the sidewalk; I ask if she could tell me where I can find food. We notice chips and snacks in a bag she carries. She gives me plenty of information but gives no help just another label. This one is called defeat. We are now 22 hours in and we have been walking forever. The hunger has passed and now I have a headache and suddenly I begin to struggle with my stomach. We are seated in front of a large church. We are here to be sheltered and cared for by people of faith. No one sees us and we see no one. Jamie is lying on the lawn feeling the symptoms of dehydration. We grow concerned of her health and at this point we fear we will have to find a way to a hospital. We sit quietly with many labels, some we brought with us and now we have been given new ones. We sit still hoping that someone anyone will love without words. Matthew 25:31-46 31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. 34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ 37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ 40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ 41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ 44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ 45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

Homeless Day One

It has been weeks since I returned from my “hopeless and homeless” journey and I’ve tried several times to write about my experience, to no avail. Each time I sit to write I am quickly overwhelmed with emotion at the hardship I endured during my homelessness. During that time my heart was crushed and my spirit broken. As you know I live in a fantasy world a world where humanity is alive and well. I live in a world where people “Love their Neighbor” and people show love rather than just speak it. I live where we come together so children can learn and parents can experience value. In our neighborhoods and in our schools our goal is one. It is all about people. I knew it would be tough to leave this little world I live in but because I work in a community where we have 1560 children living in transition, meaning they have no place to call home. I wanted to experience the emotions and attitudes that these families face. I wanted to go and walk in those shoes. I wanted to be able to relate to a family that finds themselves homeless. I don’t or rather I didn’t know what homelessness was like. I just know this could never be me because I have family; my two sisters would take care of me and my family. My two brothers would stand by just in case something was left undone. My parents, my church family, my friends would come to the rescue; homelessness is not something I fear. I wanted to go and learn the reason behind the behavior. I wanted to understand the acting out of children while in school, when they find themselves without their basic needs. I wanted to go and learn about how to better meet the needs of those that suffer temporary homelessness. I wanted to know what it felt like to be homeless and still function in everyday life. I wanted to better understand what these children and parents are going through. My purpose for going was to become a better provider. It is Friday and we arrive at 7:14, check in is at 8:00. We are anxiously standing around in anticipation of this thing we call Poverty Simulation. My thought is; we will experience what it is like to stay in a homeless shelter and may be eat at a local soup kitchen. It wasn’t long before I was told that would not be the case. We are in a group of 6 and we have all packed for a three day weekend. They ask us to choose 4 items we would like to keep for the weekend and the rest would be turned in and locked up. One person out of our group picked the wrong card and was not able to choose four items. They took everything she had. It was at that very moment that we became family. We go to a nearby thrift store and stand outside in the rain waiting while others shop. Rain begins to cleanse the battered pavement and mud begins to build where there is no pavement left. I look up and raindrops fall washing my body and my spirit of all misconceived notions of homelessness. I smile and am meekly thankful for my evening shower. I stand near the ally of a place so unfamiliar. My heart hurts as the feeling of loneliness takes over. Even with the people all around me I feel alone. My heart is heavy and I begin to worry of where I will sleep. It is finally our turn and we are allowed in the store out of the rain. I begin to rummage through clothes that well-meaning people have donated. There is paint, holes, missing buttons and stuff I wouldn’t dare wear. There is no other option, I have to choose something and in minutes this simulation has turned into my reality. We are allowed to choose a top, a pair of bottoms and a pair of shoes. Once we choose our items we go to a storeroom and change our clothes. They have stripped me of my identity and now I am just homeless. There is no soothing my crushed heart. I think of all I have given in the past. I don’t think I want to play this anymore. We leave all gussied up in our not so new attire. I don’t know what time it is but I assume it is around midnight because I am weary. I am lying on a sidewalk next to a fence with my new family. I feel the mist of rain drizzle on my face and God himself is washing my tears away. I dare not think of my comfortable home because it just saddens me more. I hear as the drops hits the mud puddles around me. I hear the blades of grass next to my head. I doze off just for a moment and I wake at every sound the tree next to me is making. I hear dogs in the distance and a soft sputter as cars go by. I hear others chat and I quietly wait on God to allow the sun to shine on me once more. Matthew 35 I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home.