So it’s been awhile since I’ve written. I guess I was waiting to write on a day where I wasn’t such a mess. Apparently that isn’t going to happen so please join me as I share my day! It’s late and I’m tired but I can’t go to bed without sharing.
Five AM came quickly for me this morning. I struggled to get out the door and struggled in traffic. I woke up with a swollen eye so I did what any self-absorbed person would do. I caked on the Preparation H underneath my eyes. Yes Preparation H! No worries because today was laid out to be a fabulous day full of leaders, educators, dreamers and visionaries. I have been looking forward to this day for a couple of weeks now. I am ready to take this day by the horns.
Let me go back a few weeks, we will start the day my frig went out. I must have grabbed a little frustration on that day and somehow it must have settled in my heart. This would be the beginning of a long series of unfortunate events. First my frig would quit working but not to worry I have a frig in the barn. But even with this luxury it would be just a couple of days before this became inconvenient and yet I would feel the need to grab just a little more frustration. It was a couple of weeks before we got that fixed and then we would begin to hassle with car issues. Not one car, oh no that would of been way to easy, it would be three different cars that decided to act up. Then, oh yeah it gets better, I would run over a screw and a nail on the same day and that would be the day I forgot my cell phone at home! Yes frustration overload because my car would leave me stranded.
Oh and let’s not forget my dryer, oh yes it would go out days before my day of fabulous leaders, educators, dreamers and visionaries. Yes I know how much more could I possible handle after all it is all about me, right! Well I’ll tell you how much more, today at lunch my honey calls to let me know that my son’s truck broke down, again. His words “I think we are being tested?” my reply Gods got this!
So busy with my goals for the day and all I wish to accomplish that I haven’t stopped to think of others. That is until I walk in to our last place of business. I see a woman going about her business and my spirit begins to leap. I know I have to do everything I can to talk to this woman. I ask a friend about her and I didn’t let her finish talking before I find myself in the hall way looking for this “new friend”. I see her and before you know it I have followed her into the men’s bathroom. I say hello,” I want to know how you are” and she bows her head. She does not seem a bit surprised that we are both awkwardly standing in the men’s bathroom. She gently places her hand over her face and I begin to speak. I tell her one of my dearest friends struggles with addiction and I explain how much I love my friend, despite her bad choices. I explain that I love my friend without conditions but because I am a mess I tend to fail my friend and I drop the ball more often than I care to admit.
This woman is a lovely woman there are no physical signs of drug use. So why I assumed she was on drugs is beyond me.
Why? I don’t know but the following comes out of my mouth. “What kind of drugs do you use? Then I pause, not believing I just asked a perfect stranger what kind of drugs she uses. But then she answers, meth! You have to know I hate drugs but I love people. I tell her “I woke up at five this morning and it is now five in the afternoon and I’m tired”. I call her by her name and say “it’s been such a long day”. But all worth it to be standing right here with you. My whole purpose today is to be right here. I want you to know that “You are beautifully and wonderfully made”! You matter and I want you to know that you are loved! She tells me, “but I’m such a mess up” and I tell her “so am I”. She says “I’m a bad person” and I tell her “no you’re not you have just made some bad choices”. Our conversation is lengthy and I share the love God has allowed me and the grace and mercy He has shown me.
There in the men’s bathroom we stand embracing each other, two strangers, two women, two mothers, two sisters, two friends. I whisper to her in prayer. Johns 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life and I went on to share John 3:17 For God did not send His Son to condemn the world but to save the world through Him.
In the stillness of love and the silence of acceptance we ask God for strength to make it through another day.
I am reminded……
Isaiah 61 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,