Connecting with Community

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Don't Give Up


I was up most of the night and this morning I wake up exhausted.
So much so, that I did not make it in to work till after lunch. I decide I need some therapy and my therapy is deep cleaning my home.
I find myself standing in the middle of my house and wondering where to start. Again I feel overwhelmed.
So much to clean, I don't even know where to start. I start anyway and it's not long before
I see progress.
I often tell people that I missed my calling. I would of been an amazing maid. I love to clean and not just surface clean but
I love to deep clean, closets, under beds and dresser drawers.
I think what I really like about deep cleaning is the end result. I like to see progress.

This summer I have been deep cleaning, not a home but what I do and how I do it. I have been cleaning up my process.
There are only so many hours in a day and I want to make sure I am using them wisely.
My time is so consumed that I haven't even had a chance to read or write, in a couple of months.
I have been deep in thought for days, trying to figure out what I could do better. How I could create more time?
How I could use my time more efficiently? I've been asking for wisdom.

My husband and I are hard core high school sports fans.
We go to high school sport events even if our kids are not participating.
One day we make plans to travel out of town, to watch a game.
We get dressed and we are ready to go. We head out the door and notice our
barn door open. We get in the car and drive over to the barn. I tell him, 'Honey I'll get it."
He parks in front of the barn door. I get out and walk around the front of the car. He decides to get out to help but forgets to put the car in park.
You probably already have it figured out.
The car moves forward and runs over me. I am under the car yelling, he panics. He quickly gets back in the car, puts the car in reverse and runs over me a second time.
Because he so desperately wanted to help me he reacted without thinking it through. What he did, to try and help, actually hurt me.

Like me this summer, I have been so  eager to help many that I have just been reacting and not thinking it through. The numbers are overwhelming that at times
I have applied band-aids when more was needed.
This morning I was reminded of my life's purpose. I am a servant, placed here to serve. I work under the philosophy that every child and parent have the right to be prepared to go to college. Education is the answer and steering from this truth is not helping, it is hurting the people I serve.
This sleepless night allowed me to see that I must not just serve but I must serve with purpose. 

As I look back on these past three years. I recall the little boy in the library, he taught me the importance of mentorship.
I remember how touched I was when I witnessed him teaching another child a life lesson. He spoke powerful words into a young life. At 10 years old, this little boy was my Lifechanger. He changed my life's course.
It's not easy but when I feel like giving up, I say, "Dig a little deeper, push a little harder."
I am renewing my vows as a Lifechanger and I think I will do this every time I am feeling overwhelmed.
I've borrowed them but here they are. If you find yourself in the same place I have been, I suggest you do the same.
Vow number 1-"I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the community, and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.  I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live."
-George Bernard Shaw

Vow number 2- "Do all the good you can, By all the means you can, In all the ways you can,
 In all the places you can, At all the times you can, To all the people you can,
As long as you ever can"
-John Wesley

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