Connecting with Community

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Sweet Beth

I missed work yesterday knowing I would pay for it today. I wake and head to my first meeting which happens to start at 7:30. I skip my morning stop for tea which makes me hungry. Yes I know I’m a little unusual. I enter the meeting place and take a seat. I sit and act as a dry sponge absorbing all that is said. I am in a room full of leaders with much experience amongst them. I am satisfied with the knowledge I have received and I leave to make the trip to my office.
 I arrive and before I even walk in the building I know today will be different. I dig through my emails but don’t even make it to my voice mail. I follow up with some of my families but really don’t do enough to make a difference. I hear the phone buzz and my first visitor is here, Frank is a homeless teenager. He comes in and sits, we chat for a while and when he leaves I feel somewhat discouraged.
I spoke with God this morning and we talked about making a difference in people’s lives. We agreed that it would not be an easy undertaking but we agreed that it would be necessary.
 I meet a friend for lunch and all our chatter is about the families we serve. It is beautiful to see her heart as she speaks. She tells me her story and I am encouraged. I admire her and quickly pray that I speak with as much passion as she does. We bid our farewells and I leave content, content with the notion that at this very moment all is well with the world.  As I head back to the office I think of all that I have waiting for me. No time to pause. We have mommas with no food for their children and mommas with no money for the rent.
I am finally home sitting on the bed talking about my day with my loved one. He listens patiently knowing it’s my therapy. The phone rings and many question then the phone rings again with more questions. Finally another call and a sweet innocent voice on the other end, my heart instantly hurts and I desire nothing more than to be in the same room with this girl. Beth begins to tell me she survived a car wreck that should have left her dead. Without pausing she goes on to say that she was raped a few days ago. I hurt that I cannot reach her and place my arms around her. She went to work today as usual because she has no one around her that she can tell her story too.
 As I write I can still hear the helplessness in her voice. She spoke with shame and regret. She talked as if she were all alone in this world. Just thinking about her, truly breaks me.  She doesn’t understand why she survived the horrendous car accident. 
I can hear her say “I feel as if I’m still alone in that car suspended, upside down, in midair. I haven’t left that place, I’m still there.”  Those words will echo always in my being, such pain.

My sister later wrote "you can't leave us hanging you have to give us some kind of hope that she will be ok".

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.
- Mother Teresa

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