Coffee

Grab a cup of coffee and sit with me for a while. I sit in a room full of family and my heart is not present. My heart is still with what I have experienced today.Let me take you back to the beginning. Four years ago I started this blog on the urging of one of my dearest friends. The premise for this blog was to share all my great shopping tips. It wouldn’t take long before this blog would turn into my self-care. This is a great way to share what I am feeling. Once I write what I have experienced during my day it no longer belongs to me. I gladly give it over to you.

Today my schedule has been jam packed, come to think of it yesterday was no different. On my to do list I have three families that are in need of food. A young lady that is eager to serve is willing to help me gather food for these families. In search of food we head to the church with the red door. We enter the building and there is this sweet overwhelming presence that awaits us each time we visit this place. It doesn’t take long before we begin filling boxes. The young lady carefully choses items for each box according to the quantity of children in each family. She silently teaches that everyone matters. Without words she gives value.

My car full I head back to the office. All day I have battled this wind and I am weary. I am struggling with kindness as I am eager for time off. In front of my office I park and look behind me only to see my first family parking behind me. I get out of the car and place an insincere smile on my face. I walk towards this family and quickly notice a little one skipping behind her momma. My heart is full and my smile is now sincere. They are so thankful for the food they have received. This baby gratefully picks up the applesauce so carefully chosen by our eager servant.

I have a few minutes before my next family arrives so I decide to drive around the building in hopes of gathering more items to share. As I I drive back around to the front my next family is waiting for me. I say hello with the assumption that they are waiting for me and the young girl replies “I knew it was you!” She looks at her mom and says “I told you it was her.” I introduce myself because we have only chatted on the phone. This is our first face to face meeting. The young girl follows me to the car to help me unload. She is so happy that they will go home with a car full of groceries. We stand by their car and chat about school. The oldest sister speaks of completing her education. She has dreams of buying her little sister a car by the time she graduates high school. Mom speaks of her girls with such pride. She is overcome with tears at the goodness she sees in this food that is shared. Mom is grateful to have what they have. I say my goodbyes and as I head up the stairs to my front door the young teenager yells “ma’am thank you, thank you so much”. I am overcome with this beautiful gratefulness.

The third family calls to inform me they do not have a way to come get the food. Reluctantly I agree to deliver. It is dark out and I am not familiar with their neighborhood. I head their way anyway and quickly find their home. The momma meets me at my car to help me unload the goods. As we reach the door I notice a set of eyes peeking through the screen door. This wind that has been disrupting my day all day has suddenly just stopped. I hear my heart and I am thankful for being present at this moment. I see a small glimmer in those little eyes. I look closely and now I am certain there is hope in those eyes. A little boy appears behind this little girl and he gently asks me if I am bringing food. I nod yes because no words form in my broken being. He reaches for the door and lets me in. I step inside this little home and in his little sweet innocent voice he asks “can I help you”? I softly speak “well of course”. I have him grab one end of the box while I hold on to the other end. Oh how my heart hurts. He directs me to the tidy kitchen and I thank him for helping me. I can no longer make eye contact with the mother as the brokenness I feel now shows through my eyes. I head towards the door and assure her I will return anytime she needs me. The little boy reaches for my hand “ma’am, thank you”. The whole time this little one makes eye contact. He has my heart. I turn around and head towards the door unsure that I will be able to respond. All of the sudden something with in me allows me to speak two simple words. Your welcome!
Recently I heard that Tyler Perry wrote a letter to younger self. I thought it was powerful. Well today my thought is why not write a letter to your present self. What would you say to how you are currently living? Are you choosing to do? Are you giving in a way that allows Hope to others? What is your purpose and what will people say about you when you are gone? Think about it and allow self-reflection. If you don’t like what you see change it.

Today through the eyes of little ones I learned I must work on my life’s purpose at every moment. The only break life will give me is the moment I leave this earth.

Here you go just so we are not tempted to tip toe around this one. 1 John 3:17 If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.