Connecting with Community

Sunday, March 27, 2016

Friday-The car and the lost sunflower seed

I wake with my daughter at arms length.  I lovingly watch her sleep and I am mesmerized by her face, attentively I watch as she slowly opens her eyes. She moves slightly and the struggle with soreness is present. There are still signs of glass in her hair but we rejoice that she escaped with no broken bones or internal injuries. I inspect her a little closer as I have been told that the bruising and cuts will be more apparent this morning. I see nothing, there are no visible marks of injury on her body. It is as if this wreck was merely a dream. I am certain prayer has occurred on our behalf. My children are anxious because they are not near but prayer has seemed to sooth them.

This will not be an easy day, as today we are scheduled to see the car and visit the crash site. The broken car is somewhere near, neatly stored because of this day of snow. My mind goes elsewhere and I focus on the fact that it is Easter weekend. Today is Good Friday and I am reminded of my Savior. I bow my head and pause long enough to allow tears to slowly roll down my face. Selfishly I bless God for my child's life. I begin to be thankful that I am not planning to bury my child today but rather making plans to merely bury her car. I think of all the families that have had experiences similar to this but have not had the outcome we have been awarded. Its not fair that I have my daughter and so many others have had to bury theirs. I don't understand it and I don't know that I ever will, at least not on this side of glory. Regardless I am grateful. We are grateful.

Last night when we arrived, Christian began to explain what she experienced. Her most vivid memory was the soil she saw all over her car. She said "I was growing a sunflower. I hope you can find the seed, when you look for my stuff." I smiled at this impossible request.

On the way to deal with the car we dial the sheriffs department in hopes of receiving direction on how and where we must begin this journey. First we travel to where the car is being held. We drive by the business that holds the car and Jacob spots it in the drive. I too see the car and I am paralyzed with fear, unable to move. In the very center of my being I can sweetly feel the prayers that are being sent on our behalf. Once more my head bows and I am no longer able to silently cry. I cry out with thanksgiving in my heart. I sit unable to process and the scene plays over and over in my head. My phone buzzes and again prayer is being offered. I am grateful so grateful as I have seen with my own eyes what the power of prayer can do. Finally I feel peace and muster enough courage to help Jacob empty the car. I glance in the car and I see her pillow,  her blanket, her clothes, her keys all in the midst of the shattered glass. I am beside myself and again unable to put a single thought in place. I reach in the car  to grab her purse and I am pricked by a shard of glass. Jacob stops and careful of this mommies heart speaks sweetly, "baby let me do this". I step back, look inside one last time and there in the center of all the mess I see the sunflower seed.